Multitasking, a style statement!!!

Switching on MTV… booting up your computer… talking over your cell phone, while chatting over the internet messenger, with sipping your coffee and thinking about what to write in your daily article “How to improve efficiency”, clearly says it all!!!

Multitasking is on its way. It makes a teenager more productive, and more efficient. But does it, really? For a period, yes!!!

Then, while multitasking, he becomes 3 people, working on 3 different tasks, and so… boss sits on the head of 3 people expecting 3 times the work J

In the software world, many tasks are assigned to a single soul; however, these tasks will not be presented in their pure form as work!

It will be assigned as A Challenge in front of an Engineer, to test his abilities!!!

Now, when one assigns a challenge, to an engineer, he is just not leaving his machine, till he is done.

That’s the corporate way of fooling a engineer’s brain. J

“

You know… you just have to sit late sometimes… it’s a part of our job…

Even we have done multitasking during our times…

This is just a small fragment…

Try to take it as a challenge…

You still need to see a long life ahead…

“

Needless to mention, the above words get delivered by which wise guy!

So, you put your heart and soul in the work, have lunch at night (yup, dinner @ night is for losers), and just think … why the hell you pay rent for the house!

Expecting a pat on your back for the hard work at least, you get all the soothing music to your ears –

“

I didn’t expect this from you at least … (Yup.. every person hears the phrase ‘from you at least’)

Try to take responsibilities… plan… prioritize… execute…

Efficiency… Management skills… Effectiveness… (All the Standard nouns…)

“

And when you raise some risks or await indefinitely for the wise person’s decision on some issue, and have got no clue on what to do next, and speak out – “I was waiting for your decision… “, you have had it, and you will be hearing –

“

You are just not independent enough!!!

“

So, when you finally say “Multitasking isn’t effective…” OR “Multitasking is not for me…”… it is very surprising, because this word was introduced by Oxford ages before, and it’s so hard to believe that some word might have been introduced just for not being effective.

Also, the UNIX originators, have used this word, and slashed the lives of all the engineers living today…

[References]

http://www.contextmag.com/archives/199809/InnerGameOfWork.asp?process=print

http://www.ivillage.co.uk/workcareer/survive/prodskills/articles/0,,156471_167575-2,00.html

P.S:

The Dilbert Solution works for me to avoid multitasking, and yet to be portrayed as multitasking energy source for other’s inspiration!!!

Solution is quite simple –

• Start with the easiest of task, send an update of it being started.
• Go to the difficult most task, and just take a break of a few hours, and then send an update of a potential risk that you see, due to some awaiting critical information.
• Always ask the most critical information during lunch breaks, when they are away.
• Ask for 20min of wise man’s precious time, at the EOD, while he is going to board the office lift.
• Come back to the easiest task, complete it; however, withheld this progress update for a few days.
• While you are being cursed for being ineffective, provide this progress update of the easy task within next 17min.
• Due to time unavailability, try to be effective and DISTRIBUTE the task amongst others; learn to share!!!
• Distribute ONLY the difficult tasks. Keep simple tasks, inseparable from you, as you own it.
• Send e-mails late in the night, after the late night movie.
• Always come late to the office, and run helter skelter.
• Don’t shave and look undernourished.
• Just try once, and you will be entitled for the “Best Employee Recognition Award!!!”

How did you ever think, I got one… :)

Scott Draws His Line <------->

I am so much impressed by Scott Adams (creator of the comic-strip Dilbert), that I am unbelievably writing a blog about some other person, especially when there is too much work pressure around!

This guy whose book ‘THE DILBERT PRINCIPLE’ I worship more than the bible, is surely a masterpiece. His story gives me inspiration, and reaffirms my faith in my belief which is –

“Any person can do Anything, Anywhere, Anytime in this world, and still be a success!!!”

In our childhood, we are made to believe in a path, which if followed leads to being successful. You study well, become an engineer maybe, join an MNC, go overseas, come back rich, settle down, and die wealthy!!! However, there is no path!!! Many dumb heads I knew, who started their lives as junkies, are now the gurus; NOT in their fields but in places, where even they dint think they would end up in!

It is like having Masters in Pure Physics, and owning Chains Of Business Hotels!

Coming back to the Dilbert guy Mr. Scott, here is his life profile in my words –

He started with being a school valedictorian (student with best grade, an not as valedictorian to know the meaning of the word J) of his high school class, and a National Merit semifinalist, but was rejected by Famous Artist School for Talented Young People, for being young (11) !! How ironical, that is!!

After pursuing his MBA from University of California, he took a job in Crocker National bank in San Francisco, as a bank teller. During this time, his dyslexia showed up when he could not balance his totals! While he was on the verge of being fired, he wrote a letter to his VP regarding ways of improving the institution. VP found his letter hilarious, and instead got him enrolled for management training. This he has described in his works stating –

“The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage – Management!”

After working there for about 8 years, he joined Pacific bell, when he believed that Hard Work can actually reward a person, and climb the ladder of success! His belief crashed out fast in the cubicle world, when after 2 years of work, which didn’t amount to much, fetched him a “Employee Recognition Award”, wherein he says that his manager created a bogus project, to thank Scott for his contributions.

It was during this time that he started drawing his sketches of Dilbert, and all the characters in here, are inspired from his colleagues. Yeah.. the pointed haired boss too!!! Thus began his double life; he used to start by drawing characters, and strips at 6am, and job from 8am – 5pm.

He was finally downsized in June from Pacific Bell. The truth was, Mr. Adams says, he made a standing offer to his boss that when his costs outweighed his benefits, he would leave.

“People asked me if I'd go soft after I left,'' Mr. Adams says, and laughs. “I just wanted to make a point.''

And he even had focal dystonia (undesirable muscular contraction or twisting), due to which he could no more draw a line. However, he says, during the boring meetings of the corporate world, he'd hold down a pen tip to paper until he felt a shiver, then pick it up quickly and rest his hand before the pain would set in. He did this repeatedly, extending his pen-gripping time bit by bit. Eventually, he said, the problem "just went away."

Also, he lately had spasmodic dysphonia (problem with his vocal chords, vocals functions differently in every speaking context), even on which he can find humor and he says –

“People who have this condition generally can't order a pizza over the telephone but can speak perfectly to their cat. Ironically, the context in which I can speak best is while being interviewed about how I can't speak. So depending on how they edit the piece, I might come off as a fraud with no problem at all.”

Hats off to you, Mr. Adams!!!

About the Business Plan....

I am a big follower of Scott (of Dilbert fame), when it comes to the corporate reality!
Here is his definition about the Business Plan -

"
Somewhere in between the hallucinations of senior management and cold market reality, there is a concept of creating something called Business Plan.

Following are the steps of Execution when it comes to create/maintain a business plan -
1. Gather Information.
2. Forget It.

"

How true!
I remember my first business trip wherein I was asked if I had come with a business plan! Its absence caused a lot of escalations, and I spent about a few hours wasting to prepare this celestial thing!

But after we prepared a big-bang plan theory, and delivered it to the higher management with "Business Plan" in the subject line of the e-mail, everything and everyone calmed down. I was just moving my mails to backup, when I suddenly realized that THERE WAS NO ATTACHMENT in this mail.

I was just a beginner then, now I know it takes a while for people to learn! I know now how to create Business Plans in a jiffy!

The Most Redundant chat question!

Every time someone pings you and wishes to initiate the chat, there is a 9999999999999% assurance that he will start the conversation (after the 'hi' lingo trademark ofcourse), with any one of the three questions -

1. howz life...
2. wassup these days.. OR wassup dude!
3. kya haal hai...


These are the only three questions governing the chat universe, by which any conversation can be started, no matter when the person last had a chat with you - be it yesterday, be it yesteryear!

In fact, everyone from a stranger to the person you know most, opens up the conversation this way!

Also, I fail to understand the use of additional periods (or dots - ...) being used after each sentence. Does that specifically represent something? Or are they just for mere emphasis? How is "ok" different from "ok...." anyways?

As an attempt to save some of my time, I saved the following piece of line in a text file, so that my each conversation starts with the same response to the same set of question; and it starts with what I do the best - COPY/PASTE!

"bas chal raha hai job..
aaj thoda kaam hai..
isliye ruka hua hun late..
pak gaye hai kaam se..
blah blah blah!"

The Ending:
=========

I am still working on studying the pattern of this part. However, I seem to have had some success on this part too. On a majority scale, it seems to be the following template -

"Sorry Gotta Go...
// Any Dumb Reason here!
tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..."

The last line "tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..." seems to have become a collection of abbreviations, which is in need of an abbreviation itself! I wonder who is responsible for describing the new set of abbreviations.

Can any one help?
OR
Are you of the kind who thinks I need some serious help myself, blogging something as stupid as this?

Idea for the perfect Card!

With all the friends all around suddenly disappearing/departing from the bachelor community, I am seeing many wedding invitations these days. However, my post does not express these poor people’s pity, or loss of bachelor community, but the focus is on the Wedding Invitation Cards!

So, it all had started with writing with nibs/ink-pots on the leaves, and may be delivering by pigeons.

Then came a Revolution!

Leaves got replaced by Printing press papers, and pigeons by postman J

Ok, I might sound a bit too exaggerating, but at least we had a system, where in we print the invites and personally invite everyone from the community.

Then came another Revolution – Computers and e-mail!

So, the wise pot heads started scanning/creating the wedding invites, and sending them on e-mail to family and friends.
What would be next? Fusion of the past and future, I suppose!

What devilish idea do I have in here, wanna know? No one ever wants to use/implement it, but yet I know everyone around wants to know how childish it sounds J

So here’s the next formula –

It would be interesting to see the couple on a pleasant evening, getting together, and doing something (if not painting) with the colors on the canvas!

This is something authentic, I would say – Couples personally penning down in the brightest colors, to invite you to an occasion which matters them the most!

Now, comes the devilish idea from an ITian jughead –

Scan this original invite, and write a shell-script/program which sends an auto generated mail of this original masterpiece, being delivered at the friends mailbox!

Sounds a bit too nerdy or geeky, but definitely again it’s something different!

-: Hats Off To Spirit Of Mumbai :- (Story of My 26/7)

Hi Friends,

Found this article in my very old mails... thought would post the story of my 26/7 -

When Sir Amiya Tripathi came and announced the
dismissal of lectures, it seemed a great relief from
the unstoppable, "nothing great", exhaustive DSP
lecture. It was however unknown what would soon
follow.

Bridges were washed away, rail tracks submerged,
telephone lines hit and large areas suffered power
cuts. Among the worst affected areas were Bandra,
Mahim, Matunga, Dadar, Santacruz, Byculla, Kurla,
Ghatkopar, Mulund, Thane and Badlapur. The city's
lifeline, the train services, were paralysed due to
waterlogged tracks and thousands of people camped in
the stations where food stalls were kept open through
the night.

We (Myself, Akshay, PD) started our journey through
rains viewing it as an adventurous, thrilling
experience filled with excitement. However, later when
we found BEST BUS then half dipped in water with lots
of DBITians inside, a wise thought stuck us to return
to college premises; which we did but not all DBITians
turned up to our proposal. So the fellowship(Myself,
Akshay, PD) again made the move to the BEST BUS.
However, we could not make it due to impactful nature
of rains.

Returning to college was like taking a shade under
our own house. Well, we had a great fun filled
experience; who wouldn't have when there are ppl like
Adhwait, Neto, Ravi around!

Strange incidents were all around.
Myself and Akshay went in heavy rains to bring
something to eat for all. We went through the canteen
wala back gate and to our shock, when we turned back
with vada-pavs we found it locked! Then Anna's
Dal-Rice were overheard being appreciated. Atleast
Anna has something in the good books!

Astonishing statements were made by all the profs
around:

"Anyone found on 2nd floor during night would be
directly rusticated."

"Don't even turn your head while you r on the second
floor"

"(At 9'o' clock) Did u guys had your lunch already?"
Still curious to know what was on the second floor!


We played all the games possible out there. Then came
the time to sleep! We struggled here n there on the
chairs to sleep, but in vain. Thanks to Akshay, he
came up with an excellent idea to remove the curtains
and sleep on it. So when our bed was ready, everyone
jumped onto it to grab a place! Sorry Adhwait, as we
could give you just 6cm of the place.

Morning due to cold , we found our throat chocked up,
may be due to cold, laughter, screaming. Even Adhwait
could not sing his Morning Raga. "I can sing only
BASE of the songs properly" in his own words. Anna's
FREE Black tea would have done the trick for our
singer. We were all reloaded then to spend one more
day(may be even night) in college.


It was indeed not a good time for Hygenious (hopefully
correct spelling) Neto around. Neto came on bike the
same day. Neto undefeatedly, patiently trying to call
to his house right from 3 'o' clock made a striking
statement: "Mere ghar ka cell no. yaad nahi re barabar
se." Anish offered a great help by himself trying to
call from his cell atleast 100 times. Neto ended the
first, and started the other day by the same statement
:- "Ae Anish, phone try kar na re!"


Where were the others?

Melvin, Alfrey: Made it to homes on the same day
(Bravo!)
Austin : came to college next day (Spent night in a
gymnasium)
PD: came to college, went to hotel (for food) n never
returned
Rohit J : Spend whole night in Train (Andheri)

I had a good experience at hand and heartously SALUTE
the SPIRIT of Mumbai inspite of being SIX FEET UNDER,
still keeps on going. Mumbai never stops, Mumbai never
sleeps! It has to go on. That's AAMCHI MUMBAI.

Yeh Hain Mumbai Meri Jaan!

My desk