I am a big follower of Scott (of Dilbert fame), when it comes to the corporate reality!
Here is his definition about the Business Plan -
"
Somewhere in between the hallucinations of senior management and cold market reality, there is a concept of creating something called Business Plan.
Following are the steps of Execution when it comes to create/maintain a business plan -
1. Gather Information.
2. Forget It.
"
How true!
I remember my first business trip wherein I was asked if I had come with a business plan! Its absence caused a lot of escalations, and I spent about a few hours wasting to prepare this celestial thing!
But after we prepared a big-bang plan theory, and delivered it to the higher management with "Business Plan" in the subject line of the e-mail, everything and everyone calmed down. I was just moving my mails to backup, when I suddenly realized that THERE WAS NO ATTACHMENT in this mail.
I was just a beginner then, now I know it takes a while for people to learn! I know now how to create Business Plans in a jiffy!
20 August, 2008
14 August, 2008
The Most Redundant chat question!
Every time someone pings you and wishes to initiate the chat, there is a 9999999999999% assurance that he will start the conversation (after the 'hi' lingo trademark ofcourse), with any one of the three questions -
1. howz life...
2. wassup these days.. OR wassup dude!
3. kya haal hai...
These are the only three questions governing the chat universe, by which any conversation can be started, no matter when the person last had a chat with you - be it yesterday, be it yesteryear!
In fact, everyone from a stranger to the person you know most, opens up the conversation this way!
Also, I fail to understand the use of additional periods (or dots - ...) being used after each sentence. Does that specifically represent something? Or are they just for mere emphasis? How is "ok" different from "ok...." anyways?
As an attempt to save some of my time, I saved the following piece of line in a text file, so that my each conversation starts with the same response to the same set of question; and it starts with what I do the best - COPY/PASTE!
"bas chal raha hai job..
aaj thoda kaam hai..
isliye ruka hua hun late..
pak gaye hai kaam se..
blah blah blah!"
The Ending:
=========
I am still working on studying the pattern of this part. However, I seem to have had some success on this part too. On a majority scale, it seems to be the following template -
"Sorry Gotta Go...
// Any Dumb Reason here!
tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..."
The last line "tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..." seems to have become a collection of abbreviations, which is in need of an abbreviation itself! I wonder who is responsible for describing the new set of abbreviations.
Can any one help?
OR
Are you of the kind who thinks I need some serious help myself, blogging something as stupid as this?
1. howz life...
2. wassup these days.. OR wassup dude!
3. kya haal hai...
These are the only three questions governing the chat universe, by which any conversation can be started, no matter when the person last had a chat with you - be it yesterday, be it yesteryear!
In fact, everyone from a stranger to the person you know most, opens up the conversation this way!
Also, I fail to understand the use of additional periods (or dots - ...) being used after each sentence. Does that specifically represent something? Or are they just for mere emphasis? How is "ok" different from "ok...." anyways?
As an attempt to save some of my time, I saved the following piece of line in a text file, so that my each conversation starts with the same response to the same set of question; and it starts with what I do the best - COPY/PASTE!
"bas chal raha hai job..
aaj thoda kaam hai..
isliye ruka hua hun late..
pak gaye hai kaam se..
blah blah blah!"
The Ending:
=========
I am still working on studying the pattern of this part. However, I seem to have had some success on this part too. On a majority scale, it seems to be the following template -
"Sorry Gotta Go...
// Any Dumb Reason here!
tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..."
The last line "tc..gn..sd..cya..bbye..." seems to have become a collection of abbreviations, which is in need of an abbreviation itself! I wonder who is responsible for describing the new set of abbreviations.
Can any one help?
OR
Are you of the kind who thinks I need some serious help myself, blogging something as stupid as this?
07 August, 2008
Idea for the perfect Card!
With all the friends all around suddenly disappearing/departing from the bachelor community, I am seeing many wedding invitations these days. However, my post does not express these poor people’s pity, or loss of bachelor community, but the focus is on the Wedding Invitation Cards!
So, it all had started with writing with nibs/ink-pots on the leaves, and may be delivering by pigeons.
Then came a Revolution!
Leaves got replaced by Printing press papers, and pigeons by postman J
Ok, I might sound a bit too exaggerating, but at least we had a system, where in we print the invites and personally invite everyone from the community.
Then came another Revolution – Computers and e-mail!
So, the wise pot heads started scanning/creating the wedding invites, and sending them on e-mail to family and friends.
What would be next? Fusion of the past and future, I suppose!
What devilish idea do I have in here, wanna know? No one ever wants to use/implement it, but yet I know everyone around wants to know how childish it sounds J
So here’s the next formula –
It would be interesting to see the couple on a pleasant evening, getting together, and doing something (if not painting) with the colors on the canvas!
This is something authentic, I would say – Couples personally penning down in the brightest colors, to invite you to an occasion which matters them the most!
Now, comes the devilish idea from an ITian jughead –
Scan this original invite, and write a shell-script/program which sends an auto generated mail of this original masterpiece, being delivered at the friends mailbox!
Sounds a bit too nerdy or geeky, but definitely again it’s something different!
19 June, 2008
-: Hats Off To Spirit Of Mumbai :- (Story of My 26/7)
Hi Friends,
Found this article in my very old mails... thought would post the story of my 26/7 -
When Sir Amiya Tripathi came and announced the
dismissal of lectures, it seemed a great relief from
the unstoppable, "nothing great", exhaustive DSP
lecture. It was however unknown what would soon
follow.
Bridges were washed away, rail tracks submerged,
telephone lines hit and large areas suffered power
cuts. Among the worst affected areas were Bandra,
Mahim, Matunga, Dadar, Santacruz, Byculla, Kurla,
Ghatkopar, Mulund, Thane and Badlapur. The city's
lifeline, the train services, were paralysed due to
waterlogged tracks and thousands of people camped in
the stations where food stalls were kept open through
the night.
We (Myself, Akshay, PD) started our journey through
rains viewing it as an adventurous, thrilling
experience filled with excitement. However, later when
we found BEST BUS then half dipped in water with lots
of DBITians inside, a wise thought stuck us to return
to college premises; which we did but not all DBITians
turned up to our proposal. So the fellowship(Myself,
Akshay, PD) again made the move to the BEST BUS.
However, we could not make it due to impactful nature
of rains.
Returning to college was like taking a shade under
our own house. Well, we had a great fun filled
experience; who wouldn't have when there are ppl like
Adhwait, Neto, Ravi around!
Strange incidents were all around.
Myself and Akshay went in heavy rains to bring
something to eat for all. We went through the canteen
wala back gate and to our shock, when we turned back
with vada-pavs we found it locked! Then Anna's
Dal-Rice were overheard being appreciated. Atleast
Anna has something in the good books!
Astonishing statements were made by all the profs
around:
"Anyone found on 2nd floor during night would be
directly rusticated."
"Don't even turn your head while you r on the second
floor"
"(At 9'o' clock) Did u guys had your lunch already?"
Still curious to know what was on the second floor!
We played all the games possible out there. Then came
the time to sleep! We struggled here n there on the
chairs to sleep, but in vain. Thanks to Akshay, he
came up with an excellent idea to remove the curtains
and sleep on it. So when our bed was ready, everyone
jumped onto it to grab a place! Sorry Adhwait, as we
could give you just 6cm of the place.
Morning due to cold , we found our throat chocked up,
may be due to cold, laughter, screaming. Even Adhwait
could not sing his Morning Raga. "I can sing only
BASE of the songs properly" in his own words. Anna's
FREE Black tea would have done the trick for our
singer. We were all reloaded then to spend one more
day(may be even night) in college.
It was indeed not a good time for Hygenious (hopefully
correct spelling) Neto around. Neto came on bike the
same day. Neto undefeatedly, patiently trying to call
to his house right from 3 'o' clock made a striking
statement: "Mere ghar ka cell no. yaad nahi re barabar
se." Anish offered a great help by himself trying to
call from his cell atleast 100 times. Neto ended the
first, and started the other day by the same statement
:- "Ae Anish, phone try kar na re!"
Where were the others?
Melvin, Alfrey: Made it to homes on the same day
(Bravo!)
Austin : came to college next day (Spent night in a
gymnasium)
PD: came to college, went to hotel (for food) n never
returned
Rohit J : Spend whole night in Train (Andheri)
I had a good experience at hand and heartously SALUTE
the SPIRIT of Mumbai inspite of being SIX FEET UNDER,
still keeps on going. Mumbai never stops, Mumbai never
sleeps! It has to go on. That's AAMCHI MUMBAI.
Yeh Hain Mumbai Meri Jaan!
Found this article in my very old mails... thought would post the story of my 26/7 -
When Sir Amiya Tripathi came and announced the
dismissal of lectures, it seemed a great relief from
the unstoppable, "nothing great", exhaustive DSP
lecture. It was however unknown what would soon
follow.
Bridges were washed away, rail tracks submerged,
telephone lines hit and large areas suffered power
cuts. Among the worst affected areas were Bandra,
Mahim, Matunga, Dadar, Santacruz, Byculla, Kurla,
Ghatkopar, Mulund, Thane and Badlapur. The city's
lifeline, the train services, were paralysed due to
waterlogged tracks and thousands of people camped in
the stations where food stalls were kept open through
the night.
We (Myself, Akshay, PD) started our journey through
rains viewing it as an adventurous, thrilling
experience filled with excitement. However, later when
we found BEST BUS then half dipped in water with lots
of DBITians inside, a wise thought stuck us to return
to college premises; which we did but not all DBITians
turned up to our proposal. So the fellowship(Myself,
Akshay, PD) again made the move to the BEST BUS.
However, we could not make it due to impactful nature
of rains.
Returning to college was like taking a shade under
our own house. Well, we had a great fun filled
experience; who wouldn't have when there are ppl like
Adhwait, Neto, Ravi around!
Strange incidents were all around.
Myself and Akshay went in heavy rains to bring
something to eat for all. We went through the canteen
wala back gate and to our shock, when we turned back
with vada-pavs we found it locked! Then Anna's
Dal-Rice were overheard being appreciated. Atleast
Anna has something in the good books!
Astonishing statements were made by all the profs
around:
"Anyone found on 2nd floor during night would be
directly rusticated."
"Don't even turn your head while you r on the second
floor"
"(At 9'o' clock) Did u guys had your lunch already?"
Still curious to know what was on the second floor!
We played all the games possible out there. Then came
the time to sleep! We struggled here n there on the
chairs to sleep, but in vain. Thanks to Akshay, he
came up with an excellent idea to remove the curtains
and sleep on it. So when our bed was ready, everyone
jumped onto it to grab a place! Sorry Adhwait, as we
could give you just 6cm of the place.
Morning due to cold , we found our throat chocked up,
may be due to cold, laughter, screaming. Even Adhwait
could not sing his Morning Raga. "I can sing only
BASE of the songs properly" in his own words. Anna's
FREE Black tea would have done the trick for our
singer. We were all reloaded then to spend one more
day(may be even night) in college.
It was indeed not a good time for Hygenious (hopefully
correct spelling) Neto around. Neto came on bike the
same day. Neto undefeatedly, patiently trying to call
to his house right from 3 'o' clock made a striking
statement: "Mere ghar ka cell no. yaad nahi re barabar
se." Anish offered a great help by himself trying to
call from his cell atleast 100 times. Neto ended the
first, and started the other day by the same statement
:- "Ae Anish, phone try kar na re!"
Where were the others?
Melvin, Alfrey: Made it to homes on the same day
(Bravo!)
Austin : came to college next day (Spent night in a
gymnasium)
PD: came to college, went to hotel (for food) n never
returned
Rohit J : Spend whole night in Train (Andheri)
I had a good experience at hand and heartously SALUTE
the SPIRIT of Mumbai inspite of being SIX FEET UNDER,
still keeps on going. Mumbai never stops, Mumbai never
sleeps! It has to go on. That's AAMCHI MUMBAI.
Yeh Hain Mumbai Meri Jaan!
25 February, 2008
14 February, 2008
Adam's law of Compensation Equilibrium
Working more hours than ever? Thinking that you are unpaid for such hard work? Thinking that the work load on you is increasing?
Not True.
I read an article about this, and came across a term called "Virtual Hourly Compensation". It is the total amount of compensation you receive per hour including -
Nature finds a way out to balance your workload with your productive work hours to create equilibrium.
So, true.. isn't it???
Not True.
I read an article about this, and came across a term called "Virtual Hourly Compensation". It is the total amount of compensation you receive per hour including -
- Salary
- Bonuses
- Stolen office supplies
- Free photocopies, printouts
- Internet surfing
- Preparing your resume for another venture
- Training for your next job
Nature finds a way out to balance your workload with your productive work hours to create equilibrium.
So, true.. isn't it???
Work and its Definition
work 
[wurk] Work is defined as anything that you 'd rather not be doing!!!
So, don't think that you are working productively only 8 of the 9 hours expected. It is only for the better. The stock prices of my firm are rising after I joined, I do not want them to go down, by doing something stupid like 'working' !!!
[wurk] Work is defined as anything that you 'd rather not be doing!!!So, don't think that you are working productively only 8 of the 9 hours expected. It is only for the better. The stock prices of my firm are rising after I joined, I do not want them to go down, by doing something stupid like 'working' !!!
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